English text variants MOTD


Calls `fortune` and prints it as is, in Jive and Valspeak.


Tools — Small utilities, gadgets & scripts to perform daily tasks.

English text

Norm: Hey, everybody. All: [silence; everybody is mad at Norm for being rich.] Norm: [Carries on both sides of the conversation himself.] Norm! (Norman.) How are you feeling today, Norm? Rich and thirsty. Pour me a beer. -- Cheers, Tan 'n Wash Woody: What's the latest, Mr. Peterson? Norm: Zsa-Zsa marries a millionaire, Peterson drinks a beer. Film at eleven. -- Cheers, Knights of the Scimitar Woody: How are you today, Mr. Peterson? Norm: Never been better, Woody. ... Just once I'd like to be better. -- Cheers, Chambers vs. Malone

English variant — jive

No'm, dig dis: Hey, everybody. Slap mah fro! All, dig dis: [silence; everybody be mad at No'm fo' bein' rich.] No'm, dig dis: [Carries on bod sides uh de conversashun himself. What it is, Mama!] No'm. Right On! (No'man. 'S coo', bro.) How you is feelin' today, No'm? Rich and dirsty. Slap mah fro! Pour me some beer. Ah be baaad... -- Cheers, Tan 'n Wash Woody, dig dis: What's de latest, Mr. Ah be baaad... Peterson? No'm, dig dis: Zsa-Zsa marries some millionaire, Peterson drinks some beer. Ah be baaad... Film at eleven. 'S coo', bro. -- Cheers, Knights uh de Scimitar Woody, dig dis: How you is today, Mr. Ah be baaad... Peterson? No'm, dig dis: Neva' been better, Woody. Slap mah fro! ... Just once I'd likes t'be better. Ah be baaad... -- Cheers, Chambers vs. Malone

English variant — valspeak

Norm: Hey, man, everybody. All: [silence; everybody is mad at Norm for bein' rich.] Norm: [Carries on both sides of thuh conversation himself.] Norm! Gag me with a SPOOOOON! (Norman.) How are you feelin' today, like, Norm? Rich and thirsty. Pour me a beer. -- Cheers, fer shure, Tan 'n Wash Woody: What's thuh latest, like, Mr. Peterson? Norm: Zsa-Zsa marries a millionaire, fer shure, Peterson drinks a beer. Film at eleven. -- Cheers, like, wow, Knights of thuh Scimitar Woody: How are you today, like, Mr. Peterson? Norm: Never been better, like, wow, Woody. ... Just once I'd like to be better. -- Cheers, like, Chambers vs. Malone