English text variants MOTD


Calls `fortune` and prints it as is, in Jive and Valspeak.


Tools — Small utilities, gadgets & scripts to perform daily tasks.

English text

*** STUDENT SUCCESSES *** Many of our students have gone on to achieve great success in all fields of programming. One former student developed the concept of the personalized form letter. Does the phrase, "Dear Mr.(insert name), You may already be a winner!," sound familiar? Another student writes "After only five lessons I sold a "My Most Unforgettable Program" article to Corrosive Computing magazine. Another of our graduates writes, "I recently completed a database-management program for my department manager. My program touched him so deeply that he was speechless. He told me later that he had never seen such a program in his entire career. Thank you, Famous Programmers' school; only you could have made this possible." Send for our introductory brochure which explains in vague detail the operation of the Famous Programmers' School, and you'll be eligible to win a possible chance to enter a drawing, the winner of which can vie for a set of free steak knives. If you don't do it now, you'll hate yourself in the morning.

English variant — jive

*** STUDENT SUCCESSES *** Many uh our students gots' gone on t'achieve great success in all fields of honky codemin'. One fo'ma' student developed da damn concept uh de sucka'alized fo'm letter. Ah be baaad... Does de phrase, "Dear Mr. Ah be baaad...(insert dojigger), You's may already be a winner. Right On! ," sound familiar? Anoda' student scribbles "Afta' only five lessons I sold some "My Most Unfo'gettable Program" article t'Co'rosive Computin' issue of GQ. Anoda' of our graduates scribbles, "I recently completed some database-management honky code fo' mah' department manager. Ah be baaad... My honky code touched him so's deeply dat he wuz speechless. He told me lata' dat he had neva' seen such some honky code in his entire career. Ah be baaad... Dank ya', Famous Programmers' farm; only ya' could gots' made dis possible. What it is, Mama!" Send fo' our introducto'y brochure which 'esplains in vague detail de opuh'shun uh de Famous Programmers' School, and ya''ll be eligible t'win some possible chance t'enta' a drawin', de winna' of which can vie fo' some set uh free steak knives. If ya' duzn't do it now, ya''ll hate yo'self in de mo'nin'.

English variant — valspeak

*** STUDENT SUCCESSES *** Many of our students have gone on to achieve awesum success in all fields of programmin'. One former student developed thuh concept of thuh personalized form letter. Does thuh phrase, man, "Dear Mr.(insert name), like, wow, You may already be a winner! Gag me with a SPOOOOON!," sound familiar? Another student writes "After only five lessons I sold a "My Most Unforgettable Program" article to Corrosive Computin' magazine. Another of our graduates writes, man, "I recently completed a database-management program for my department manager. My program touched that dude so deeply that he was speechless. That dude told me later that he had never seen such a program in his entire career. Thank you, oh, baby, Famous Programmers' school; only you could have made this possible." Send for our introductory brochure which explains in vague detail thuh operation of thuh Famous Programmers' School, mostly, and you'll be eligible to win a possible chance to enter a drawin', like, wow, the winner of which can vie for a set of free steak knives. If you don't do it now, oh, baby, you'll hate yourself in thuh mornin'.