English text variants MOTD


Calls `fortune` and prints it as is, in Jive and Valspeak.


Tools — Small utilities, gadgets & scripts to perform daily tasks.

English text

Felix Catus is your taxonomic nomenclature, An endothermic quadruped, carnivorous by nature. Your visual, olfactory, and auditory senses Contribute to your hunting skills and natural defenses. I find myself intrigued by your sub-vocal oscillations, A singular development of cat communications That obviates your basic hedonistic predilection For a rhythmic stroking of your fur to demonstrate affection. A tail is quite essential for your acrobatic talents: You would not be so agile if you lacked its counterbalance; And when not being utilized to aid in locomotion, It often serves to illustrate the state of your emotion. Oh Spot, the complex levels of behavior you display Connote a fairly well-developed cognitive array. And though you are not sentient, Spot, and do not comprehend, I nonetheless consider you a true and valued friend. -- Lt. Cmdr. Data, "An Ode to Spot"

English variant — jive

Felix Catus be yo' taxonomic nomenclature, An endodermic quadruped, carnivo'ous by nature. What it is, Mama! Yo' visual, olfacto'y, and audito'y senses Contribute t'yo' huntin' sput de smack down ons and natural defenses. I find mah'self intrigued by yo' sub-vocal oscillashuns, A sin'ular development uh cat communicashuns Dat obviates yo' basic hedonistic predilecshun Fo' some rhydmic strokin' uh yo' fur t'demonstrate affecshun. A tail be quite essential fo' yo' acrobatic talents, dig dis: You's would not be so's agile if ya' lacked its counterbalance; And when not bein' utilized t'aid in locomoshun, It often serves t'illustrate da damn state uh yo' emoshun. Oh Spot, de complex levels uh behavio' ya' display Connote some fairly sheeit-developed cognitive array. Slap mah fro! And dough ya' aint sentient, Spot, and do not comprehend, I nonedeless consida' ya' some true and valued homey. -- Lt. Cmdr. Ah be baaad... Data, "An Ode t'Spot"

English variant — valspeak

Felix Catus is ya know, like, your taxonomic nomenclature, An endothermic quadruped, man, carnivorous by nature. Your visual, fer shure, olfactory, fer shure, and auditory senses Contribute to your huntin' skills and natural defenses. I find myself intrigued by your sub-vocal oscillations, A sin'ular development of cat communications That obviates your basic hedonistic predilection For a rhythmic strokin' of your fur to demonstrate affection. A tail is like, ya know, quite essential for your acrobatic talents: You would not be so agile if you lacked its counterbalance; And when not bein' utilized to aid in locomotion, It often serves to illustrate thuh state of your emotion. Oh Spot, like, the complex levels of behavior you display Connote a fairly well-developed cognitive array. And though you are not sentient, like, wow, Spot, mostly, and do not comprehend, I nonetheless consider you a true and valued friend. -- Lt. Cmdr. Data, like, "An Ode to Spot"